"The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity." - Walt WhitmanAnd simplicity is the key, when it comes to uncorking a bottle of wine. Uh-huh right, so now you've done it. Done what you ask? You've become a wine swirling, sniffing and slurping vino-sapien. But you probably didn't even see it coming, did you? I know for most folks who are new to wine, maybe surprised to find that you'll actually need some tools to get into those bottles.
If you've only been a beer drinker in the past, gone are days of the simple key-chain adornment aka the bottle opener to get into your new favorite adult-beverage. Even most of your favorite top-shelf spirits merely require a firm grip and a snap of the wrist to gain access, not so with wine.
Now you're faced with the real dilemma of how to get that bleeping-cork out of the bottle and, preferably without looking like a complete novice. After all you'd just like to enjoy great bottle of wine, which may have spent considerable time picking out online or via your favorite wines shop.
So now what do you now? Read on dear vino-sapien, read-on. Because I've put together an easy list of must-have items for wanna-be wino, that will have you popping corks like a [To some; a fancy over-paid waiter] sommelier-on-speed.
To get into your favorite bottle of wine you're going to need some not so serious hard-ware. Of course you could just live on screw-cap closures and boxed-wines to get by, but you know that's not practical. So let's be honest, if you really want to get serious about wine, then you'll have to invest in the right tools of the trade.
These 'tools' don't have to be expensive; but you could spend near a kings-ransom to acquire some of the basic tools [but you don't have to]. Taking a quick-spin around the Internet via places like Amazon, Beverage Factory and Wine-Enthusiast websites, you'll find a plethora of different options. But don't sweat it, with today's review on 'openers', I will try to shed some light on the basic tools I think every vino-sapien should have in their arsenal. Tools that will get the job done right and with little fuss or muss. Of course at prices that fall into what I call the reasonable-range.
1. The Heavy Wing Cork-Screw: This one is perhaps my very favorites. I've had the same one for years and it has popped many corks [oh-my]. These cork-screws are heavy-duty lean mean bottle opening machines. All you have to do is place it on top of the bottle, give the head a few twists, the arms come up, you push down and the bottle is open. You can even use top of it for opening that occasional bottle of beer, chilling in the fridge. This one is my personal favorite; it's nearly fool-proof.
Also great for busting through wine-bottles covered in waxy plastic-like substance instead of the traditional foil capsule. Those bottles do have a certain curb-appeal to them from a marketing stand-point, but in reality are just a pain.
Another wonderful feature is that it allows you bust right through the foil, if you don't want to use or don't have a foil-cutter. They do have one draw-back though, if the cork you're trying to extract happens to crack and break-off, you will be in a world of hurt [unless you have the next piece of equipment, the waiters-friend].
This is the one I use most often Farberware Bar And Wine Series Winged Corkscrew and it sells for $12, you can pay more, but won't get more. A word of caution though stay away from the plastic ones and keep your thumbs well away from the area where it sits on the bottle-top.
2. The Waiters-Friend: This is perhaps one the very best pieces of equipment you will find on the wine market today, it's so small and compact and some have a built-in expandable foil-cutter. Making it very easy to carry one with you at all times, something you will see on a regular basis if you dine-out enough. Or maybe you were given one by your favorite winery as a gift.
Like I mentioned above, these cork-screws are perfect for getting that broken cork out of the bottle, it works every-time I use it. The prices on these can range anywhere from ridiculous [$200] to reasonable [$8]. Oh-boy do I have plenty of these hanging around the house myself, but my favorite one is called the "Boomerang" [$18] and has a unique feature that many others don't have which is the expandable four wheel "foil-cut" which easily removes the top of capsule exposing the cork and removes the possibility of cutting your finger on the knife-like foil cutters on similar cork screws.
3. Foil Cutters: Okay these are pretty useless unless you happen to be one of those cork-dorks like me, who likes to keep the top of capsule like they are small pieces of art. I mean honestly I have foil cutter myself but if you have either of the corks screws I mentioned above you won't need this piece of equipment. Now if you happen to buy one of the"rabbit" lever style openers, then you'll will still need a good foil cutter.
Because the one that comes with the rabbit opener "sucks" at cutting foils. So if you really want one, that works great, I would recommend the one that I have which is called the "Screwpull" and sells for $10. It makes short simple work of any and all foils no matter how big a mouth that bottle-top may have and leaves the capsule top in pristine collector condition.
4. Lever-Style: Ah yes the lever style wine-opener, this one has become a huge favorite for many of the wine-swirling and slurping masses, which of course come in types of shapes, sizes, colors and prices. I do of course own two of them myself and for awhile used it all the time, but after a while the worm or the auger as they are called became dull, making it difficult to pierce the cork all the way.
It's a great idea and works much better than the other two I mentioned above, however its weak-link is the the worm itself, is so thin and not very sharp it needs to be replaced too often. Making its negatives out-weigh the positives. They can be purchased in a variety of price ranges, from $23 to more than $123, folks if you really want one the find something in the middle range, as they are all about the same.
5. Cordless Wine-Opener: Last but not least, is the newest [relatively speaking] wiz-bang tool on the market today, the electric, cordless cork-remover
. I know many folks enjoy these
immensely and have great success with them. But I'm not one of those folks; I
don't have one and frankly don't see the need to add it to my wine tool chest,
it just seems superfluous. I've used them before and seen other folks using
them, they're pretty easy and not something I'd recommend.
The price ranges on these can be a reasonable $32 or a silly $140, depending upon how important you may want to look while removing a cork, but on the reasonable side of the equation for $19 you can get one that works like a champ
Possible Draw-Backs: Honestly folks, I'm not sure how often you have to replace the worm or how long the rechargeable battery will last. But those are both considerations for not getting this product in my opinion, unless hand strength is an issue for you.
Those top two cork-screws are my everyday favorites both are relatively inexpensive. Yet both are dependable, versatile and ever so easy to use, that even a cave-man like me can to do it. So like the commercial from the now defunct Mervyns, where folks had their faces pressed against the glass, chanting open, open, open you too can get those wine bottles opened with the greatest of ease. So until next time folks remember, sip long and prosper cheers!